How not to sell a Kickstarter Project.

Wanted To Say...

The Pitch

Please help me publish my second novella.  I will be honest my first was horrible but I can assure you this will be better.  When I was 20 I self published my first novella and boy did it suck.  Now that I am 30 I have honed my skills and I promise you at least a mediocre story.  Check out my first Novella on Amazon. Think twice before buying or reading it because it will only end in disappointment for you and surely obliterate any chance of you backing my current project.  

The Fail

This is like going up to a girl in a bar and telling her "When I was 20 I lost my virginity, but I swear I have gotten better in bed so there may be a chance you wont laugh" And yet it still got a few dollars of funding, I guess some people are desperate or just felt really bad for him.

Worst Pledge

PLEDGE $5 OR MORE

0 BACKERS • Limited Reward (20 of 20 remaining)

Handwritten thank you postcard in gratitude of your support. Sorry I'm not a millionaire so no hallmark cards with the fancy colored envelopes.

His 1st "novella" is 10 dollars on Amazon. Yet you are supposed to give him more than twice as much for a copy of this one. Not sure if he understands Kickstarter.

The Result

5

BACKERS

$406

PLEDGED OF $2,300 GOAL

0

HOURS TO GO

A Redneck Dream

"The BEER-Naked Wedding and Rock N Roll Reception

THE PITCH

The BEER-Naked Wedding is set to take place on 6.26.10 in Los Angeles, but we need help in off-setting the cost of the venue space. This once-in-a-lifetime event will celebrate a boy's love for his beer by having him marry it.

THE FAIL

"Prop 6 Pack" is what they tried to call it. One too many beers must have caused this hicks brilliant idea to come out. We know Rednecks love their beer, but this is just a waste of time, I am amazed he knew how to work a computer.

WORST PLEDGE

PLEDGE $20 OR MORE

 0 BACKERS

If you live in the LA area you will receive a comp to the ceremony. If not you will receive a picture of the Bride and Groom.

Because we can't just take a picture off of the Kickstarter Page?

THE RESULT

0

BACKERS

$0.00

PLEDGED OF $2,700 GOAL

0

SECONDS TO GO

Strangest Screenplay Kickstarter Will Ever See

The Erotic Professionals

The Pitch

 "The Erotic Professionals is a screenplay based on the life of an African American Transgender and Her Male and Female Collagues and Book I Rise Just Mentioned in Advocate Magazine for 2011 Best Overlooked Book.. First short film to feature lead of African American Transgender"

The Fail

Once you get past the terribly photoshopped picture, Well I really don't know who would want to watch this, let alone spend their own money on creating this. 

Worst Pledge
PLEDGE $200 OR MORE

0 BACKERS • Limited Reward (10 of 10 remaining)

Signed copy of the book I Rise-The Transformation of Toni Newman Copy of DVD of promo trailer Prayer Cross With Lord's Prayer inside Layered in Fine Sterling Silver with Brilliant Genine Crystals With 18 inch Sterling Silver Chain Signed Copy of The Erotic Professionals Poster Signed Copy of Book The Handbook of Love-A Guide to Your Love Life by Bruce Thompson Jr. EHM New Scalar Energy Science Pendant (Energy Pendant) Signed Copy of Book Delivering Happiness (A Path To Profits, Passion, and Purpose) by Tony Hsieh, CEO, Zappos.com

Because Prayer Crosses are what people watching transgender eroticism want.

THE RESULTS

0

BACKERS

$0.00

PLEDGED OF $7,500 GOAL

0

SECONDS TO GO

Macedonian Rock Band!

The Pitch

Recently Big S Adrenalin shoot a music video for their second song called Destroying Angel. They decided to do it in their home country Macedonia, because they wanted to create and offer something very different from the other music videos that are on the air at the moment

THE FAIL

 Macedonia? Clearly their target audience for funding is people who are waiting on their millions of dollars from Nigerian kings. Misleading title as well, I was expecting Scarlett Johansenn in a Black Keys Video. This girl is hot enough but wouldn't be caught dead in a video for a band called Big S Adrenalin.

THE WORST PLEDGE

                                                                        PLEDGE $5 OR MORE  0 BACKERS

You will receive a digital copy of the songs Personal Moon and Destroying Angel and a personal e-mail from the band

Paying for these songs seem bad enough.

THE RESULT

0

BACKERS

$0.00

PLEDGED OF $10,000 GOAL

0

SECONDS TO GO

Witches, Death Stares and No Kickstarter Funding!

"Sacred Heart Coven"

The Pitch
 What if you could kill with just a thought? What if you couldn’t control that power? Through a series of apparently random events, Kevin Chang accidentally kills the school bully with one angry look. The source of his power is a knife he’d picked up from a classmate, who is a part of a coven of modern day witches, who are having a contest to get pregnant in order to bring forth something evil.

Nothing I can say can make this seem any worse. 

Rolling in Fire.

The Pitch

This project is a short film/music video that tells the story of two strangers who are in very difficult relationships with other people. He tells his story through song inspired by "Ring of Fire" and She dances her story inspired by "Rolling in the Deep"

The Fail
 A song "inspired" by Ring of Fire and an interpretive dance to Rolling in the Deep in the same music video. Worst. Mashup. Ever. Also states it will be shot in 20 hours. Why exactly do you need 6 grand for a Youtube Video that will be shot in 20 hours? Will an hour be spent filming and the other 19 hours and 6000 dollars spent on hookers and blow?


Worst Pledge
PLEDGE $75 OR MORE

2 BACKERS • Limited Reward (23 of 25 remaining)

One free ticket to Tricia's show, "Erotic Broadway/Vintage Variety" in NYC on May 21 at the Triad Theater

The most expensive ticket to her show is 60 dollars. So you pay 15 dollars more for a "free one"? Then for 100 dollars you can say hello to her, I wonder if she thinks being able to see her after her show is worth 25 dollars. You could just wait in the parking lot with the 8 other people who stayed the entire time for free. Come on.

The Result

17

BACKERS

$807

PLEDGED OF $6,000 GOAL

0

SECONDS TO GO

Another T-shirt Line! How Original!

One Luv Brand

The Pitch

one luv brand is a Pittsburgh based lifestyle apparel company that expresses who you are and pays it forward to those in need.

The Fail

Most people realize that they can get any shirt they want made for them for 20 dollars online nowadays. Also the majority of people who would wear an I <3 Jesus T-shirt don't know how to use the internet.  Spells Kickstarter "

Kisckstarter" 

Worst Pledge

 PLEDGE $10 OR MORE

0 BACKERS

Thanks for showing some luv! For contributing you'll receive a thank you card.

You can't even give us a shirt for 10 dollars?

THE RESULT

12

BACKERS

$375

PLEDGED OF $1,000 GOAL

0

SECONDS TO GO

Kickstopper

Inspired by Regretsy!

Where terrible ideas on Kickstarter go to die after not being funded. There are just some things no one should pledge.

Send the most ridiculous Kickstarter plans you find to Thekickstopper@gmail.com